Tuesday, 20 November 2012
Patience and the OCD Child
I have 6 children, two older boys from a previous marriage and 4 to the beautiful @jodiedunnng. Whose mothering ability and patience should be bottled and used to end all harm to children throughout the world.
16 months ago we had the blessing of two of the most handsome little men. Born premature meant 2 months in hospital for poor mummy (and poor daddy who still had to maintain some sort of stable-ness at home whole travelling back and forth to the hospital daily).
It was a struggle for everyone but there there was one little person that was affected, so we found out in time, more than any other.
A devil reincarnate, god bless her the little angel, Sierra, 3 years of age, who from birth was very clingy and and mummy reliant.
Sierra, 2 at the time the boys were born, missed mummy greatly when she went into hospital and wasn't quite old enough to understand what was going on. Sure like any girl that age she was excited to be getting little brothers but as far as she knew that was as simple as going to toyworld.
Little did we know we were in for some of the hardest testing times of our parenting lives.
With mum coming out of hospital some 2 months later with premature twins meant that there wasn't much time for sierra now and she didn't really cope with sharing her mummy.
What we are left with now is 15 months on an insecure 3 year old with every anxious, OCD, nervous disorder you could imagine wrapped up in a cute little bundle.
It seemed sierra went backwards in age reverting to baby traits of wanting to be carried or picked up and held constantly, sucking her thumb, wetting her bed to some of the more recent ones of picking her toes and biting her nails and changing what she is wearing constantly.
Not to mention the a weak emotional state of crying at the drop of the hat.
There are times when you can just see the real Sierra just shine through, it's like she has forgotten her dependendancies and become free and it's a beautiful thing to behold, she has such a beautiful smile.
I remember my wife telling me that she caught Sierra crying one day by herself, so she questioned what was wrong. Sierra said that she wanted to live at Nannies (My mums). As you could imagine this would have broken any mothers heart, but the reason was more heart wrenching.
Sierra's reason was because mummy hadn't told her off ALL day. It wasn't because Mummy was too busy to notice her being naughty it was because Sierra had behaved herself.
So sierras reasoning is attention=love being naughty=attention.
We have seen doctors and got advice and apparently it's a "stage" and she will grow out of it.
We hope so because she just has such a beautiful soul.
So for now we are nurturing her as best we can and trying to be as patient as we can, (well as patient as we can with 6 kids).
Hind sight is a marvellous thing as a parent and if i had known the birth of the twins and mum going into hospital was going to be such an ordeal her her i would have done things different.
I think she would have benefitted from maybe coming with me to the hospital more to come and see mum and try make her understand what is happening to a degree. Still have that connection maybe do some drawing with her. it was just a whirlwind time for us and I have to admit, which brings a tear to my eye, we may have frogotten her. sibgleing out the needs for one child is very hard in a time where the health of the mother and twins is imperative.
The major probem was that in the ICU only one partner is allowed in, no one else is allowed to visit.
She has kindy next year so we are hoping this will be her year to shine and gain some Independence, something her older sister oozes, which is a post for another day.